Many men may have difficulty when it comes to showing their emotions. However, the tendency to keep all emotions inside is dangerous, psychologist Lauren Soeiro said and revealed the true reason why men outwardly keep their cool.
According to the expert, the inability to express one’s feelings can lead to relationship strain and can also be construed as arrogance. Many men appear to be “rational thinkers”, separating their emotions from their decisions. In psychology, this is called alexithymia.
Reference: alexithymia is a condition in which a person is not able to describe and understand his feelings and emotions. The word itself is Greek and refers to the lack of words for emotions. The problem leads not only to difficulties in interpersonal relationships, but can also cause psychosomatic illnesses. There are both congenital and acquired forms.
The congenital form is associated with physical causes – these are minor malformations, the consequences of hypoxia during pregnancy or childbirth, diseases suffered in infancy. This form is difficult to treat. Acquired appears as a result of nervous disorders.
As the doctor noted, the term describes the gap between thought and emotion – which means that although a person may feel one thing, he will struggle to clearly identify them.
“It’s not a mental disorder per se, but rather a trait that can create various psychological problems,” she explained for Psychology Today.
Other common indicators of this condition include the following:
1. social media discomfort
2. inability to express emotions
3. exaggerated interest in autonomy
4. fear of intimacy
5. chronic negative mood
6. emotional distancing
These signs can often be confused with autism spectrum disorder, the specialist added. In addition to causing a person to “tighten up” in a relationship, not being able to express how they feel can also have dangerous physical side effects. These include palpitations, chronic pain, and difficulty breathing.
According to experts, this condition is more common in men due to gender stereotypes that are imposed on men from an early age. This may include sayings like “you’re the man” or the notion that men shouldn’t cry, be strong and protective in their family units.
However, in adulthood, these attitudes will definitely manifest themselves. Humans have evolved to have emotions for many good reasons, says the doctor.
“Including interpersonal communication, intergroup communication and danger detection; in general, it is not difficult to understand that emotions have always been important for our survival. Cultural or familial tendencies that devalue the experience or expression of male emotions place an unnecessary and harmful burden on many men,” she added.
How can men overcome this condition?
You can learn to live with alexithymia and even reverse it. Psychotherapy is a great place to start, as it is a way to start understanding yourself and expressing your emotions. However, at home, you can also learn some things that help weaken this personality trait.
For example, you should start keeping a diary describing the feelings of the day, listening to music, or even trying to empathize with the characters in films and novels. This will help develop greater emotional awareness. However, you should not count on a quick solution, because. Years of suppression of emotions are not easy to change. Therefore, it may take some time to bring them to the surface.
! This content, including tips, contains general information only. This is in no way a substitute for a qualified medical opinion. Always consult a specialist or your doctor for more information. We wish you good health