Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do

– Book review –

Dale Carnegie, writer of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” had quoted that ” Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to no hope at all”. This is a forthright statement about resilient people.

Do you want to become a person who doesn’t give up when the situation seems impossible to win? If the answer is yes, you can strengthen up yourself internally by reading a book titled “Tough Times never last but tough people do”. It is written by Robert H. Schuller.

Robert H. Schuller was an American Television Evangelist, pastor, motivational speaker and author. He was renowned for the weekly television programmes “Hour of Power”. He has authored many other inspirational books like

o Way to the Good Life (1963)

o Your Future is Your Friend (1964),

o Move Ahead With Possibility Thinking (1967)

o Self-Love (1975)

o You Can Be the Person You Want to Be (1976)

o Toughminded Faith for Tenderhearted People (1979),

o Self-Esteem: The New Reformation (1982)

o The Power of Being Debt Free (1985);

o Living Positively One Day at a Time (1986)

o Success Is Never Ending, Failure Is Never Final (1990)

o Life’s Not Fair, But God Is Good (1991)

o Possibility Thinking (1993)

o Prayer: My Soul’s Adventure with God (1995),

o My Journey: From an Iowa Farm to a Cathedral of Dreams (2001)

o Hours of Power (2004)

o Don’t Throw Away Tomorrow (2005)

The book “Tough Times Never last, but Tough people do!” is an inspirational and motivational book. It was published in the year 1983. Although the book was printed in the early 1980s, still it is one of the most relevant books in this time of pandemic and economic turmoil because of closure of economic activity.

The reason for the relevancy of the book is it toughened up ourselves internally as we read the book. If we are tough inside we can faced any challenged in our life. As Knute Rockne, the American Football player had quoted “When the going gets tough the tough gets going”. And definitely this book will certainly fortify you internally.

The book is divided three sections:-

Section 1. Tough Times Never last, but Tough people do

Section 2. Here how you can be tough too!

Section 3. Beginning is half done. This section is one of the most inspiring section of the book.

The book begins with the story of some of the famous and not so famous personalities who have struggled and overcome the difficulties in their lives. The author narrates the spirit lifting tales of how he built up the Crystal cathedral with its many problems, roadblocks and obstacles. The authors also lay bare his tough early childhood. He had described it so vividly and so perceptibly that you will feel the troubles and pain in his childhood period as if it had happened in your life. These you can find in Section 1 of the book.

Section 2 begins with the autopsy and analysis of problem. The special characteristic of problem is that “Nobody is free from problem. A problem free life is an illusion a mirage in the desert. It is a dangerously deceptive perception, which can mislead, blind and distract. To pursue a problem free life is to run after an elusive fantasy; it is a waste of mental and physical energies”.

Further, how to manage and overpower problems in a positive way has also been discussed in this book. What is leadership and Ten commandment of possibility thinking has also been discussed in this section. The last section i.e. Section no. 3 is the most important and inspiring part of the book.

Here you will find that the 26 letters of the English Alphabet being turn into action words so that you may have the inspiration to take action on your current problem and come out a winner on the other side.
This is the brief summary of the book.

Now the reasons why you should read this book are discussed below:-

1. It help you look at your problems in proper perspectives:-

The author has listed some of the way to looked at your problem so that it doesn’t overwhelm you. He listed some of the eternal truth of your Problem.

Some of the immutable truth of your problems are as follows:-

A. Everybody has problem. A person with no problem can be found only in the graveyard.

B. Every problem has a limited time span. Most of the problem doesn’t last more than a month or a year.

C. Every problem has positive possibilities. As there is a saying that every cloud has silver lining. There is always something we can learn from problems that can make our life better.

D. You can choose what your problem can do to you. You have the power to run away and hide from the problem. Or you can choose to be brave and meet problems head on.

1. The 12 Principles of managing problem positively:- The author has listed principles of managing and overcoming the problem of our life positively. Here some of the important principles are discussed.

a. Don’t underestimate: Most of the problems in our life never get solves because we tend to underestimate the seriousness of the problem. Further, we tend to underrate our potential to solve the problem. Thus, we need not to underestimate a problem or our power to cope with it.

b. Don’t exaggerate:- Further there are people who are inclined to amplify their problem. We don’t need it to exaggerate but we need to look at it in a proper perspectives.

c. Don’t wait, start acting. :- If we have a problem we need to take action to solves the problem at hand as soon as possible. The sooner you take action the earlier the problem will be solved.

d. Don’t aggravate:- We have the power to make any problem better or worse. We do this by acting positively or negatively. Remember “Nobody is defeated until he starts blaming somebody else”.

e. Illuminate:- Illuminate your mind by learning new things. Get smart and get smarter by asking these questions:-

i. Has any other person faced my problem and how he overcome it?

ii. What really is my problem?

f. Sublimate: The author has written that every problem is loaded with possibilities. When you can’t eliminate the problem, channelize your problem into something useful. This is very important because there are problems for which there are no solution.

g. Insulate : You need to insulate yourself from negative thought and bad habits. We need to change our habits into a positive habit.

1. Leadership: If we want to manage our problem successfully, we need to take a chance, charge and control. And how do we take control? We need to practice leadership. Leadership is the force that selects our dreams and our goals.

Leadership can be practice in the following way:-

a. Don’t surrender leadership to outside forces:- Never surrender leadership to forces such as lack of fund, property or location. If you need more money, or relocate your business take charge and take control. The author has quoted “Money flows to good ideas: good ideas spawn other good ideas; dreams inspire creativity in money management.

b. Don’t surrender leadership to fences: Fences are the limiting concept like I don’t have required education, I lack the required fund. It causes us to lower our goals, with the result that we strive for and achieve less than our capabilities. We need to believe in our ability.

c. Don’t surrender leadership to your fantasies: We have a brilliant idea to solve our problems and soon we reject it due to our negative fantasies. If you are one of these persons. Remember “If your dreams are bigger than most, if your ideas are more creative. There will be criticism”

d. Surrender your leadership to God :- let faith in God be in control of every decision and every action. Surrender yourself to God. When you are look at your life and where it’s headed, ask yourself these questions:- Who am I?, Why am I here? Where am I headed?

1. Ten commandment of Possibility thinking. In this part the authors has defined Management as “Management is the control of a resource in order to minimize waste and maximize the development of latent possibilities”. Further in this chapter the writer has given the ways to manage an idea through 10 Commandment of Possibility Thinking. Some of the Commandments are given below:-

a. Never reject a possibility because you see something wrong with it:- There is something wrong with every good idea. Isolate and neutralize the negative from the possibilities. And start working on that idea.

b. Never reject an idea or a possibility because you won’t get the credit:- you need not worry about who gets the credit. Decisions must never be made on ego need. They must be made on human need and market pressures. Decide today: Would you rather satisfy your ego or enjoy the fruit of success.

c. Never reject an idea because you don’t have the money, manpower, muscles or months to achieve it. If you don’t have them, you can get them. Spend enough time, use enough energy, develop enough human resources, acquire enough financial capital and you can do almost anything.

Here we need to remember that “Nothing is more difficult than to keep waiting, working, plodding & maintaining patience through dark time. But we must”.

1. For the marvellous piece of philosophy entitled “Anyway”:- the philosophy read as

   People are unreasonable, illogical and self centered,

   Love them anyway

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives

Do good anyway

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies

Succeed anyway

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable

Be honest and frank anyway

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow

Do good anyway

The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway

People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs

Fight for some underdogs anyway

What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.

Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

1. Alphabet for action:- The people at the top of the ladder work harder than anybody else. Because they have gotten into the habit of working hard. To really succeed in life, all you have to do is

   a. Get started

   b. Never quit. Here in this chapter all the 26 letters of English Alphabets are transformed into action words such as

   i. A is for affirm:- Affirm that you can do.

   ii. B is for believe that somehow, sometime, somewhere through someone’s help you can achieve your heart’s highest goals.

   iii. C for Commit. Commit yourself to a dream

   iv. D Dare to try, to love.

   v. E is for Educate. Educate yourself.

   vi. F Find the talent, the possibilities, the time, the money and the way.

   vii. G for Give. A giving attitude is the secret to successful living.

   viii. H for Hope. Hope is holding on, praying on expectantly.

   Similarly the remaining letters are transformed into action words.

So this book is a must read for all the people who are facing problems in this times of turmoil. Just read it, Most of your problem will be solved by acting on the Principles given in this book. Just read it and enjoy your life.

* Nongmaithem Rakesh Singh wrote this article for e-pao.net

The writer can be contacted at rakeshnon(AT)gmail(DOT)com

This article was webcasted on October 13 2020.

In the summer of 2016, three days after a gunman killed 49 people at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, a poem went viral on social media. Called “Good Bones,” the text captured the balance between the tragedies of the world, the lure of ignorance, and the life of children in these exceptionally chaotic times — perhaps why it resonated with the public. “Life is short,” the poem, written by Maggie Smith, starts, “though I keep this from my children.”

Those lines became a sort of mantra for the Age of Trump. They also made Smith a household name, as celebrities tweeted snippets of her poem, and publications like Washington Post, the Guardian wrote articles about it; the poem was first published in the literary journal Waxwing.

This week, Smith’s new essay collection, “KEEP MOVING: Notes on Loss, Creativity, and Change” — which was appropriately born out of a series of tweets — hit bookstores. The book follows Smith’s journey over the last couple years, in which she’s had to rebuild her life after a divorce, and cope with the grief that follows the end of a marriage. For Smith, to keep moving isn’t necessarily a physical endeavor, but rather a mindset and a way to not get stuck in the past. While the book was written before the pandemic in a world that feels like a lifetime ago, there are many lessons that can be learned as we cope with constant loss during this tough time. “How do we not look back constantly and try to compare the current reality to what we may have had before?” Smith asks. Here, we talk about what it means to “keep moving” in a scary world.

I interviewed Maggie Smith in August. As usual, this interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

We live in such a goal-oriented society, but your book “Keep Moving” defies that mindset, despite it literally encouraging people to move. Can you explain what the phrase “keep moving” means to you, in this book?

That’s a good question. For me, it was mostly about avoiding looking in the rear view mirror, and about being forward-thinking and forward-moving. Someone said fairly early on, “can’t we just stay still today, do we really have to keep praying every day?” And my response has always been, “It’s not about moving, it’s just about not looking back.” So for me, it was not as goal-oriented as you say, but more just about, “how do we not look back constantly, and try to compare the current reality to what we may have had before?”

And I think that can be dangerous in a couple of ways when things are hard in the moment. It’s really easy to get nostalgic about when things weren’t so hard. So when you’re going through a divorce, it’s really easy to be like, “Oh, remember when we were happy,” and to look at photos and rethink everything. And that can be painful. But also when things are good, it’s easy to taint that by looking back and thinking, “Well, it wasn’t always good, so probably something bad will happen again.” Instead of just living in the moment and just taking whatever it is the good and the bad, and just living with it and pushing forward.

Right.

I like what you say about living in a goal-oriented society, because I think we do. I think we’re always sort of pressing on and thinking, as soon as we get one thing, it’s like “OK, I have that so now what’s next? How do I top that?” Someone very wise told me recently that I should wake up every morning, and the question I should ask myself is “What else is possible?” Which is not really about setting goals or trying to amass or accumulate or achieve anything, it’s just more about being open to what might happen.

You wrote this before the pandemic, but the sentiment “keep moving” feels really important right now. How have you kept moving during this time?

Oh, this time has been tricky. It’s funny. I feel like I was in a better place emotionally for a while. After the divorce, before the pandemic, I had a narrow window of relative peace where I felt like, “Okay, I’m improving, things feel a little bit more even-keeled.” And then as soon as early March, as soon as we all went on lockdown, it was really interesting — which is maybe a euphemistic adjective for what I mean, in that I felt a lot of the same emotions I felt in the middle of my divorce again, which is very off-kilter, very destabilized. And just that sense of, “I don’t know what’s coming, but I know it’s not going to look like what the six months prior looked like.”

Totally.

That feeling of, “I know what my life used to be and now it’s not that anymore.” And so in some ways it was really triggering because that sense of losing my balance and my momentum, it brought me back to that place. One of the things that’s kept me moving is having my kids here. I have joint custody, so they’re not here every day. They’re here half the week and I cannot crumble because I’ve got them and they’re having their own struggles with this, not being able to spend time with friends, not having school or summer camp. And so having to parent through this has been challenging, but also it helps keep my priorities in check. I can’t really wallow about anything because I’m really trying to stay positive and things like that for them. So I would say that, that’s been one thing.

Another thing has just been writing. That’s how I process things. So I’ve continued writing maybe more during the last six months than I was in the six months prior. Writing has been really helpful, but I think whenever people are going through tough things, one of the best things you can do for yourself is whatever the thing is that makes you feel most like yourself. I know that’s different for everyone, but what makes me feel closest to myself is writing. That inner conversation I get to have with myself on paper. Regardless of what’s going on in my personal life or what’s going on with work stuff or with the kids or anything like that, it just helps me to kind of debrief with myself a little bit. And so that’s been really useful.

Could you share more about what your writing process was like for this book? You do such a good job of capturing your insights and epiphanies and I’m wondering how you do that?

Well, the book happened in two pieces, which is that I started writing a book without realizing I was writing a book. Really, I started [with] the tweets, and not until a few months in, basically people [were] saying, “This should be a book.” I had just planned on tweeting until I didn’t need it for myself anymore because these were all just notes to myself. And so when I started really listening to people saying, “This should be a book,” and I realized that made sense, people wanted something they could give to someone else who was going through a hard time, when flowers and casseroles don’t quite cut it.

Then I had a conversation with my editor. We thought more about, “how do we give the tweets a little bit more heft, and a little bit more context?” Really just to have a book that’s quote after quote after quote, that didn’t really seem like that was going to be the thing. So my editor was like, “Okay, so what if there are some essays in this book that kind of contextualize the quotes? What can you write about that might give some context to the quotes?” And so really I sat down and thought about it.

And for me, the natural place to go was metaphor and I think that’s the poet in me. So while they’re essays, I approached them with a poet’s sensibility. And I think a lot of what has helped me get through difficult times is telling myself a different story about the experience. When you’re going through something really difficult, it’s easy to default to like, “Well, this is what’s happening.” And it’s usually an unkind narrative that we tell ourselves in that moment. “This person is leaving because I’m X.” Or, “This didn’t work out because I’m Y.” Our self-talk is so unkind. And so, a lot of what has helped me press on […] are metaphors that helped me reframe some of these experiences and think about them in a different way. If that makes sense.

That totally makes sense. It’s interesting how you say that our self-talk can be really unkind. How do you grapple with that personally and as a writer?

I think part of it is just being aware of it. Maybe the trickiest thing is realizing that the way that you think of something may not be the truth. You know, feelings aren’t facts. And so when you’re going through something really difficult, it’s just so easy to blame yourself or to get bogged down and think, “It’s not going to get any better. It’s going to continue to be this hard. I can’t do this.” And, really what the tweets were born from was me needing to believe something different.

I call myself a recovering pessimist for a reason. I was always — anyone in my family would tell you that I was the pessimist in the family, and I think part of it is just self-protection. I think it’s natural to think and expect the worst.

It’s like if something decent happens, you’re pleasantly surprised, but you haven’t set yourself up to have your hopes dashed. And so I’m always the person who expected the worst quietly and then if anything good happens, I would be pleasantly surprised.

But it’s really hard to function as a parent and as a professional and just as a human, when you’re going through something really devastating and you honestly don’t believe it’s going to get any better. You can’t get out of bed if you don’t believe it’s going to get any better. Part of what I was doing with the tweets really was a pep talk to myself into believing over time that it will get better.

After a while, I think you can start feeling the hope. Sometimes I say that hope is like a garment that didn’t fit very well. And I kept trying it on over and over again. At first it was really oversized and scratchy and terrible, but the more I tried it on, the better it fit and the better I felt and I was able to press through and believe my own story.

Another part of the reason it got better was because of the other unexpected thing that happened, which was that in a time when I felt more alone than I’d ever felt in my life, I started being really vulnerable on social media and realized I wasn’t alone at all. And this community happened where I basically just stood up in front of thousands of people and said, “My life is really hard right now, but I’m really trying,” and I just kept doing that every day. And no one laughed at me or said, “No it’s not, it’s not going to be okay.” People showed up and said, “Oh my gosh, it’s going to be fine. And actually, I’m going through the same thing and I really needed to hear that.” Or, “I went through that five years ago and look at the better place I’m in.” And just the act of saying it out loud every day and feeling the sense of community honestly, really, really helped.

You wrote about how loss can be generative. And would you say that this book is an example of that for you?

Oh, certainly. I’ve joked before, like I would definitely have chosen an intact family over a divorce in a book written in the wake of a divorce, but I wasn’t given that choice. So I do feel glad to have had the opportunity to have written it, not just because it was good for me to have written it. It definitely helped, writing this book helped me process a lot, but my hope is that reading this book might help other people going through their own sort of “what now?” times and struggles, especially this year with everything happening around the world and that it wasn’t all in pain. It wasn’t just that I had a terrible couple of years for nothing.

So yeah. This certainly feels like, I don’t know, I don’t really believe in lemonade from lemons, but it feels like I have something to show for how much that hurt.

In the book, you also talk about how strength comes from asking for help and in many ways how we are more resilient when we work together and we’re more like collaborative and I’m wondering, how do you think we can normalize asking for help?

It is really hard. And I think we are, especially Americans we’re such individuals. We’re all about individualism and personal freedom. And unfortunately we still, I think carry a lot of the bootstraps mentality where you are sort of the goal just to be able to get through something on your own and say, “Look how strong I was. I did this by myself.” When really, yes, I guess we could see that as a sign of strength, but it also seems terribly lonely and unnecessary. Why wouldn’t the sign of strength be: “Look, I was really hurting and look at all of these beautiful people who came and lifted this burden with me.” To me, it’s one of the most beautiful things that happened to me over the past two years, which strengthened friendships and also new friendships because a lot of people helped me carry what I had to carry.

And, it’s not that I couldn’t have done it by myself, but it would have been A) a lot harder, and B), a lot lonelier and honestly, a lot less enjoyable.

Smith’s new essay collection, “KEEP MOVING: Notes on Loss, Creativity, and Change“, is out now from Atria/One Signal Publishers.