A former FBI agent reveal dishonest people. Through years of trial and error, he has been able to recognize certain key patterns and have learned how to “size people”.
Everyone has their own opinion. Your friends, colleagues, family members, your partner or your boss may reveal their true intentions, but they are often shrouded in clever disguise.
A retired FBI special agent and former head of the Counterintelligence Behavioral Analysis Program, he spent 21 years defeating people whose sole purpose was fraud and fraud again. Through years of trial and error, he has been able to recognize certain key patterns and has learned how to “size people” – or predict what others will do.
Here are the brightest warning signs that reveal a dishonest person:
1. They speak in absolute terms, such as “always” and “never”
Absolutes are meant to support the point of view, but in rare cases they are true and can easily be denied.
When someone says, “You never compliment me,” he simply begs you to say, “That’s ridiculous!” Do I remember complimenting you? ” Even when you know that someone is just exaggerating, it is often difficult to know if they are aware of it. When the absolutes remain unchallenged, they have a perverse tendency to become truths.
People who are trustworthy tend to use words that soften the absolute, for example, “usually”, “often”, “probably”, “in principle”, etc.
2. They boast by belittling their achievements
Many people think they know how to brag skillfully, but they don’t. Some wait for the right moment in the conversation to casually play their 15 seconds of self-promotion – as just information, a relevant example or a flash of funny memories. And when you give them the praise they seek, they reject it.
Another example might be a colleague who is always trying to reassure you that you can do something better than them, under the guise of encouragement. But their main goal is to remind you how great they are – as you struggle to do so.
3. They try to impress you by judging people you both know
They imply that you are better than these other people, otherwise they will not admit their disapproval. They give you the opportunity to jump with your own disapproval of these people, as if it were a healthy form of connection. Meanwhile, all you think about is: What do they say about me when I’m not around?
4. They are very careful
Dangerous trait! And one of the most common. Many people believe that if they deny something, it ceases to exist. They turn criticism of themselves into a joke or an insulting statement that makes no sense. They inflate. They act passively aggressively. They change the subject. They distort the “accusation”. Or they just retire. These are the ways in which dishonest people put up their shields.
5. They like to argue
We are not talking about the exchange of rational ideas, we are talking about hyper-emotional battles.
Dispute tactics are just a series of tricks that can be shockingly ineffective in manipulating people. Some of the worst include: Attacking people instead of ideas, using insinuations and hints, playing with fears, sarcasm and neglect, scapegoat, changing the subject, and labeling people.
6. They talk too much and say too little
Usually, dishonest people try to hide something or just have nothing to say. So they try to replace quantity with quality, especially by adding meaningless modern words. In contrast, Winston Churchill, a talented orator and Nobel laureate in literature, once said, “Short words are the best, and old words, when short, are the best of all.” A similar opinion is expressed by the specialist in business communications L.J. Brockman, creator of the formula that identifies the four main characteristics of successful communication: Clear, concise, memorable and motivational.
7. They don’t know how to apologize
The apology is pretty easy. You say, “I’m sorry.” And that’s it. Unfortunately, this is something you will rarely hear from dishonest people. They will say, “I’m sorry. But … ”Then comes the statement, usually fueled by accusations:” But I did it only because you did it and the like. ” This happens out of fear, especially when masking arrogance, perfectionism or some other form of superiority.
8. They show uncomfortable body language
Non-verbal communication is the best feedback. Here are some signs that a person is uncomfortable with what he says:
“Unlike a sincere smile, the corners of their mouths don’t rise, they’re straight back.” The smile does not cover their whole face, and their eyebrows are often wrinkled.
– The angle of their head is slightly tilted back, not sideways. And they literally look at you arrogantly.
“People who are honest have their eyes wide open.” The dishonest man’s eyes, however, are somewhat closed and tend to be fixed on you without much movement.
(When you see these signs, it’s wise – and often kind – to pay special attention to why they’re uncomfortable.)
“These expressions are most revealing if they happen often, but not all the time. The moments when they don’t happen give me a basis for evaluation. Then, when I see these signs, I have good reason to analyze them for other signs that show what the intentions really are, “Robin Drake, a retired FBI special agent, told cnbc.com.
