The opinion of psychologists.
Emotional intelligence is one of the most popular concepts in recent years. What it is, why is it important to recognize and manage emotions, say experts in the field of psychology.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize your emotions, to understand the intentions, motivation and desires of not only your own, but also of other people. The development of emotional intelligence helps to manage the emotions of one’s own and those of others in order to solve problems in life, relationships, at work. It is based on four basic factors: self-awareness, self-control, empathy, and relationship management.
Emotions greatly affect the psychological and physical health of a person, so it is important not only to recognize them, but also to live in an environmentally friendly way. How to develop emotional intelligence was invented back in the nineties. In 1995, journalist Daniel Goleman took up the idea and published a world-famous book about the term. The popularization of this concept slightly distorted the essence of the scientific concept, but this did not make the author’s work less important.
EQ and IQ: the difference
Emotional intelligence does not make a person good or happy. It is the ability to recognize emotions, use them for various purposes, understand how they arise and the ability to control them. It is also wrong to compare IQ (intelligence quotient) and EQ (emotional intelligence). The first, according to scientific research, is given to us from birth, the second – you can develop and improve at any age.
What Emotional Intelligence Gives
Emotional intelligence is present in every person from birth. We feel something, but we do not always understand, we recognize the exact emotions. Plus, as a legacy from the last generation, middle-aged people got bans on living and the expression of emotions, which leads to emotional blocks and psychological difficulties. At the same time, the ability to notice and recognize your emotions, make friends with them, can save you from emotional burnout, rash actions under the influence of strong feelings, protect yourself and your health from a lot of stress. For example, emotional intelligence is needed in conflict. When you understand your own emotions and the emotions of a partner, you can prevent conflicts in the family, team and in any communication.
The ability to recognize how you feel, why this is happening, what to do with it in order to be happy – this is what is important and needs to be developed by each of us. It is important to pay special attention to anger. The dynamic rhythm of life, a large amount of information, people and dialogues makes us “boil” from an overabundance of everything that weighs on us. And anger, as a reaction of resistance, is leading among the most pronounced emotions. The ability to manage anger is the main human ability that helps to maintain health and maintain relationships with others. Emotional intelligence also intersects with the theme of fear, which imperceptibly guides our decisions, makes us doubt ourselves, give up the life of our dreams, be afraid to take risks.
Few people wonder why people with low intellectual abilities are more successful and happier than those with high IQs. This can be seen from research results that show that people become successful not only thanks to their intelligence, but also to the ability to understand the intentions, motivations and desires of others in order to solve important life tasks, recognize their emotions and manage them. These abilities are called emotional intelligence.
An emotionally intelligent person responds to causes, not emotions. This helps to rationally perceive criticism, opinions of other people, understand them and respond with an adequate response, even if he does not agree with something.
Emotions as a mental process
Emotions play a big role in a person’s life, perhaps even larger than you imagine. Let’s say you are arguing with a friend or boss. It will be difficult to get your point across if you are annoyed, yelling, overreacting, or insulting the person. When the mind is occupied with emotions that you cannot capture and filter out, the incoming information is perceived with distortions. You won’t be able to engage in a constructive argument, and even worse, you may quarrel or lose your job.
Suppression of emotions, misinterpretation or inability to express them greatly reduces the quality of a person’s life. And vice versa: the development of emotional intelligence helps to improve relationships with people, increase academic and work results, and make life brighter and better. Psychologists agree that it is better to start the development of emotional intelligence at an early age, but it’s okay if you weren’t told about it in childhood. Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be trained throughout your life.
How to boost emotional intelligence
Psychotherapy helps in working on emotional intelligence. With a sufficient level of motivation, regular exercise on your own will help.
Emotional Intelligence: Training Exercises
• Create a “Calendar of emotions” – regularly write down what emotion you experienced during the day, why and what situation caused this emotion, whether you were pleased to experience it or not. Track how your body reacted to your emotional state, try to remember all the sensations. Such an analysis will help you better feel your condition and accept emotions not only on a psychological, but also a physiological level.
• Learning to recognize the emotional reactions of others is important to become aware of your own emotions. A simple exercise will help you with this: observe passengers in transport, colleagues at work, people in a public place. Think about the emotions they are experiencing. Imagine what this might be related to.
• Come up with any bodily method to manage your emotional state. For example, inhale and exhale, clench and unclench your fists, count to twenty. Do these actions at a time when you feel like you’re going to break up, or you feel like you want to raise your voice or offend the person.
• When interacting with people, put yourself in their place. Think about why the person says so, what emotions he feels, why he reacts in a particular way. Take an observer position and imagine seeing your dialogue from the outside. What emotions do you experience while doing this? Does perception change? Are you satisfied with the way you communicate with the person?
