The first wedding night with the gypsies (customs)
The values of the Roma community are deeply rooted, so the wedding celebration has a special flavor. The first wedding night among the Roma, unlike many nations, takes place during the wedding festivities and requires special confirmation. Are you surprised? We invite you to learn about the most non-trivial wedding customs and features of the gypsy first wedding night.
How is the first wedding night of the gypsies: wedding customs
In order to better imagine the colorful wedding celebration of the gypsy clan and original rituals, Svadbagolik.ru will acquaint you with several harsh laws that are still being executed:
According to tradition, marriage between Roma takes place at a young age. And if for European youth a wedding at the age of 19 is a rather rare occurrence, because, supposedly, early, then a bride from the Gypsy clan at this age is already considered an old and useless virgin. Therefore, Roma marriages are concluded at the age of 15-18.
Matchmaking may well occur when the children of two families are in infancy. If the bride, for example, was married at the age of ten, she can live with the groom’s family until the age of fifteen, after which the wedding will take place.
The word of the elders in the Gypsy family is law. Therefore, the choice of a candidate for bridegroom or bride is made by the parents, mainly by the father. The consent of the bride during the matchmaking is considered formal, since she does not dare to go against the will of her relatives.
A gypsy wedding does not provide for a trip to the registry office, because divorce in families is not provided. Orthodox Gypsies unconditionally get married in the church. The wedding celebration usually lasts three days and has about 300 guests. Absolutely all expenses are borne by the groom’s family, therefore, when a boy is born in the family, it is necessary to immediately start collecting money for the wedding. Interestingly, traditionally, a wedding in India is paid for by the bride’s side.
Men and women always sit at separate tables, especially the bride and groom, this is the gypsy law. According to tradition, on the second wedding day, the newlyweds are side by side at the same table.
Rituals of gypsies after the first wedding night
“Carrying out honor”
The key ritual at a Gypsy wedding is considered to be the custom of information or “taking out the honor” following the first wedding night. The newlyweds will be forever sealed by marriage, but before this event, the bride needs to prove her innocence. A prerequisite for marriage is young virginity. How is it checked? There are three versions of the assumption:
Young people retire in a special room where the mixing takes place (the first wedding night), after which a sheet with characteristic traces confirming the girl’s innocence is brought out for public display.
The bride leaves with three venerable women, who rob her of her innocence using a sheet wrapped around her finger. The groom does not participate in this ritual.
The first wedding night, according to some opinion, takes place right at the banquet table in front of guests. In fairness, we are in a hurry to calm down – this version is considered the most ridiculous and implausible.
During the absence of the newlyweds, some Gypsy families arrange theatrical performances – they beat off the stolen bride from the groom. It looks very natural, so there is an opinion that a gypsy wedding without a fight is not a wedding. However, drunken showdowns are completely unacceptable. Although the festive tables are bursting with a variety of dishes and alcohol, getting drunk at a gypsy wedding ceremony is tantamount to shame.
After the young people are brought together, a bloody sheet (according to another version – a shirt), strewn with red ribbons and flowers, is brought to the guests on a tray. Women participating in the ritual of taking out the honor congratulate and thank the bride’s relatives for their decency, and red ribbons are awarded to each member of the groom’s family. The bride herself, after the first wedding night and the gypsy custom with a take-out, changes into a red dress and from that moment becomes a woman. There are those who braid their hair. Now she is obliged to walk only with her head covered.
An Azerbaijani wedding has a little similarity to providing evidence of the bride’s chastity.
Interesting: If there is no proof of innocence, the marriage is immediately dissolved, and the girl remains unmarried forever, which is a heavy burden for gypsies. In addition, the family of the spoiled bride will face lifelong disgrace and it is better for them to immediately leave their hometown. There are times that a girl still manages to get married, but it is worth the titanic efforts of the family.
Rite of passage “Fraternization”
Immediately after the first wedding night and the “carrying out of honor,” the rite of blood unification or “fraternization” follows. The newlyweds make incisions with a sharp knife in their hands and join the two blood together. From that moment on, for them everything in life is divided in half, including household duties. They are forced to raise children together and are considered relatives.
Roma wedding customs and rituals differ significantly from the standards we are used to. Rigor and obedience are the basis of the relationship between parents and children. The most important virtue of a gypsy bride is honor. Harsh practices are now found not only among the gypsies.
